So help me God

 

There she stood

The apple of my eyes

The woman of my life

My special bride

So the time came to proclaim our vows

 

She said to me that she will love me for richer and poorer

And I asked her really?

‘Cos the last time you asked me to buy you Galaxy S4 mini

And I said I did not have money

You were like, “Kw3 meni”

 

I promised to love her in sickness and in health

And she said, “I know you will still be there if I have malaria.

But what about ebola?”

And I was like, “that one di3 e bola”

 

We promised to love each other

For better and for worse

So I asked her, what is your worse?

Is it when I cannot provide food on the table?

When I am presented with bills and I begin to narrate fables?

When I can’t afford an electrician, I begin to join cables?

When I am surrounded with bottles with alcohol labels?

Will you still be there for me?

When I cannot “stand up” and make you feel like a woman?

Or though I can “stand up”, yet I cannot give you a baby

 

And I asked myself, what is my worse?

Is it when her company made her president

So she started to disrespect

Is it when she served me food that was worse than school feeding programme

Or turned my house into one that needed Zongo development fund

Is it when my biological investments

Were not yielding dividends

Nine years in marriage and no cry of a baby yet

Will I still be there for her?

So I realized

That if I could fulfill my vows, I needed help

I searched on google, Bing but to no avail

So one day I got a friend request on Facebook.

Checked out the person and his name was “I AM”

I looked up his CV on LinkedIn

And boy oh boy!

It says He parted the red sea into two and there was dry land

He made a donkey speak, he healed the sick

He raised the dead, he walked upon

Ascended to heaven, He broke gravity

 

So even though I promised to protect you

And I am not present when they try to attack you

I prayed that he will command his angels concerning you

So in their hands they will bear you

Lest you dash your foot against a stone

 

And maybe I don’t have a mansion in Trasaco

And I don’t drive a Lambo

But I’ve got a friend who can feed over 5000 people

With 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes

 

So I can boldly say that I will love you till death do us part

Wonder why I am so confident?

Check the last line of my vows

It reads: “So help me God”

 

[Image courtesy: http://www.nzbzd.com/Ghana-Wedding-Ringstmwujpyh

https://www.pexels.com/photo/food-couple-sweet-married-2226/%5D

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