There she stood
The apple of my eyes
The woman of my life
My special bride
So the time came to proclaim our vows
She said to me that she will love me for richer and poorer
And I asked her really?
‘Cos the last time you asked me to buy you Galaxy S4 mini
And I said I did not have money
You were like, “Kw3 meni”
I promised to love her in sickness and in health
And she said, “I know you will still be there if I have malaria.
But what about ebola?”
And I was like, “that one di3 e bola”
We promised to love each other
For better and for worse
So I asked her, what is your worse?
Is it when I cannot provide food on the table?
When I am presented with bills and I begin to narrate fables?
When I can’t afford an electrician, I begin to join cables?
When I am surrounded with bottles with alcohol labels?
Will you still be there for me?
When I cannot “stand up” and make you feel like a woman?
Or though I can “stand up”, yet I cannot give you a baby
And I asked myself, what is my worse?
Is it when her company made her president
So she started to disrespect
Is it when she served me food that was worse than school feeding programme
Or turned my house into one that needed Zongo development fund
Is it when my biological investments
Were not yielding dividends
Nine years in marriage and no cry of a baby yet
Will I still be there for her?
So I realized
That if I could fulfill my vows, I needed help
I searched on google, Bing but to no avail
So one day I got a friend request on Facebook.
Checked out the person and his name was “I AM”
I looked up his CV on LinkedIn
And boy oh boy!
It says He parted the red sea into two and there was dry land
He made a donkey speak, he healed the sick
He raised the dead, he walked upon
Ascended to heaven, He broke gravity
So even though I promised to protect you
And I am not present when they try to attack you
I prayed that he will command his angels concerning you
So in their hands they will bear you
Lest you dash your foot against a stone
And maybe I don’t have a mansion in Trasaco
And I don’t drive a Lambo
But I’ve got a friend who can feed over 5000 people
With 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes
So I can boldly say that I will love you till death do us part
Wonder why I am so confident?
Check the last line of my vows
It reads: “So help me God”
[Image courtesy: http://www.nzbzd.com/Ghana-Wedding-Ringstmwujpyh